You all must have had blurry memories about your childhood showing multiple tantrums for various things. How stubborn you could be for a thing, but had never ever thought that one fine day your own child would throw the same tantrum.
Tantrum usually begins when a child is feeling emotionally triggered. This could be due to ample reasons like anger, fear, frustration, disappointment, hunger or even tiredness.
Why Do Your Children Throw Tantrums At You?
Children under the age of two do not have the ability to control or regulate their emotions. The very scientific reason behind this is that the part of the brain that can do this is the same part that controls language, logic and learning. It is only just beginning to develop and wire up. Thus, when emotions become powerful the child becomes overwhelmed by the uncontained feelings.
This temper tantrum is likely to occur anywhere like in a restaurant, mall, park, etc. This is quite normal for a child but as and when they grow, the interaction solves this problem.
When this happens you are not dealing with a rational and communicative human but a completely dysregulated and emotionally overloaded one. The part of the brain which really helps in understanding andSoft Skills: How to Inculcate Soft Skills in Children? isn’t available to them.
They might kick the floor, scream and do all sorts of illogical things. Being an adult dealing with a child can be triggering for you too. It can be really difficult to stay in control of your emotions when your child has lost them.
15 Amazing Tips to Deal with Temper Tantrums
Make sure you are calm and regulated while handling your child’s tantrums
The very first step is to get a grip of yourself when your child starts to lose control. Your rational and logical brain should be active, acknowledging the fact that you can feel yourself slipping. It is always good to take a few deep breaths or step away from the situation for a few minutes if needed. The phenomenon of first helping yourself and then them is to be considered here.
Emotional connection with the child
Do not be too big or too loud with your approach while you are trying to connect with the child. All you need is to get down to your child’s level. then get slow and quiet while you are building the connection with them. A connection could not be a physical one always, it can be emotional too. If the child tells you to give space it is okay to set boundaries with that. Re-directing them to the right thing is the best you can do.
Empathize and make them feel understood
If you know the gist of what has triggered the tantrum then you can help by simply talking to them. Some of your words can make them exactly understand the feeling they can’t describe or express. It is important to learn such skills for better communication. But too many empathetic words can be dangerous too.
Recognize the emotion or desire
Once you know the root of your child’s tantrum it is easy to tackle with. Children have craving, thoughts and wishes which they can’t justify. Identifying such and putting it into words at the same time might help in calming them.
Not every tantrum needs a reaction
Some children pretend to throw a tantrum when they need something or have seen something with some other child. Knowing that your child does not need that, you need not respond. Give them space to let out their emotions.
This is a sensitive trick as it requires to make your child sit at a peaceful place for few moments. This helps them analyze their problems and self-sooth. Time-out should not be given for long periods as it nullifies the affect.
Affection through hug or kiss
Sometimes a warm and comforting hug from the parent calms down the child. It reassures the parents support and understanding to them. It builds a good bonding but this might not always a useful trick.
Once your child is calm, do talk to them about what happened as children tend to forget their tantrums soon. Giving them lessons are their experiences which will help them in future life. This is a most important aspect to imbibe moral values in your child.
Do NOT say NO too much
When children are often said NO to things, they tend to get attracted by them the most. This leads to a tantrum, so think ten times before saying ‘no’. This always confuses your child as it is their age of exploring more and more new things in life.
Do not give in/ provoke
Children tend to form patterns to get what they need. Eg : cry for a toy, children recognize styles with different person as to how they can get provoked. This day by day forms a bad habit of pretention in them.
Usually when in public places, if your child throws a tantrum, make sure you change his environment. Distracting him from things which led to the tantrum can be a good strategy, but the ultimate goal should be understanding your child.
Plan for the tantrum
You can easily notice the pattern of your child’s tantrum behavior. Once you are aware of what leads to their tantrum, it becomes smooth to deal or even make it not happen.
Let them choose
When given choices your child tends to learn control. They notice how their choices affect actions. Try giving them choices between things which they have to do eventually. Like play or study first.
Praise when needful
Praising your child gives confidence to them that they are doing the right thing. This motivates them to work better and put effort in their self growth.
Be a good teacher/ gentle discipline
Opening up with your fears and concerns to them so they become aware of the right thing is an essential step. Always yelling at them wouldn’t work out. A disciplined and healthy routine for the child can help them regulate their behavior better.
Parting Words from Podium
Every child is different, every parent is different. These were some very central ideas, so do not ever give up when in some difficult situation. All you need is patience to get out of this phase. Always remember your behaviour lays the foundation for your child’s future.
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