What are the 4 Stages of Child’s Personality Development?

Personality is a very important component of an individual’s existence. Your personality speaks before you do. Your personality tells others about you before you do. Personality development can help you carve out yourself as a better individual both inside out. A well developed personality can do wonders to your life. It can simply help you to achieve great successes in your life and also help you to better your personal and professional relationships. Today, in this lesson, we will cover four stages of child’s personality development and answer the following commonly asked questions:

Children Personality Development

Why different children have different personalities?

There are plenty of people in the world and they differ from each other in numerous ways. Just in the same way, different children have different personalities. Some are cheerful and full of life and some are dull and down most of the times. Few children love to spend time with their friends and families however some like to spend most of the time in isolation. There are several countless examples like these.

Have you ever wondered what makes us all so different?

Have you ever wondered what makes us all so different? How is it that people of our cohort either turn out to be exceptionally kind while others turn out to be unimaginably cruel? Have you ever thought about it that way? Well, of course, you know why. It is mainly because of the different situations and different people we were raised with. These clear distinctions are made by not just the influences but also his personality.

Personalities are what distinguish us all. They are the sum total of the enduring characteristics that differentiate us.

Is it by birth or do they develop unique personality traits for other reasons?

Do our children have a personality ever since they are born or does it develop over time? No, their personalities develop over time because over brains also develop over time which helps us to think, understand and feel better. The burning question is how do these personalities get developed?  Well, researchers over the years have divided the childhood into four stages, namely, infancy, preschool, middle childhood and adolescence. The researchers say that in each stage they are faces by a challenge and on resolving the challenge they develop, even if they don’t they do develop, not like they don’t but the unresolved challenge hinders them the understand themselves and the things happening around them.

What are the four stages of a child’s personality development


From twelve or eighteen months to up to three years of age, the infant faces the challenge of autonomy-verses-shame and doubt

This stage begins from birth and goes up to three years of age. This stage is also divided into two sub-stages, in each sub-stage they face one challenge. Sounds likes complex mathematical formula, right? But don’t worry, I have the solution on how to help your child clear the stages and the sub-stages. So let’s begin!

How to help my child develop a good personality at Infancy Stage?

Erik Erikson, a psychologist, believes that the first twelve to eighteen months of an infant, he faces the conflict of the trust-versus-mistrust stage. In this substage, the infant develops a sense of trust or mistrust depending on how well their needs were met by the caregivers. Those who are able to trust experience a sense of hope that allows them to feel as if they can fulfil their needs successfully, whereas, if they aren’t able to trust the caregivers then, they have trouble forming close relationships and bonds will when they grow up.

From twelve or eighteen months to up to three years of age, the infant faces the challenge of autonomy-verses-shame and doubt. According to Erikson, in this stage toddlers develop independence and autonomy if parents encourage exploration and freedom, within safe boundaries but they develop shame and self-doubt if they are restricted and overprotected.


Letting them experiment and helping them is the best way to resolve conflict

In the preschool years the child forms a self-concept, they are able to understand themselves better and even tell others about themselves. When you ask them, “Who are you?” they will not only tell you their name but will also say something like, “I am the tallest in my class”

How to help my child develop a good personality at Pre-school Stage?

According to Erik Erikson, a pre-schooler deals with the conflict of initiative-versus-guilt. In this stage sums up in the following lines, “Let me do it, I can do it.” And when they fail to master the task they feel guilty. In this stage, letting them experiment and helping them is the best way to resolve conflict. The positive reaction can help their children resolve the opposing feelings guidance and support will encourage them to take initiative. Discouraging them will make them feel guilty and they will eventually stop taking initiatives, feel inferior amongst his friends.

Middle childhood

The period from age six to twelve is when his self-concept begins to sophisticate

According to Erikson, the period from age six to twelve is when his self-concept begins to sophisticate. They not just know what their strengths are but also their weaknesses. For example, your daughter understands that she is good at math but not her spellings.

How to help my child develop a good personality at Middle Childhood stage?

In this stage, Erikson believes that children now face the conflict of industry-versus-inferiority. In this stage, in this stage the child must not only master all the challenges presented to him in this stage but also make a place for himself in the social world. Success in resolving this conflict brings the feeling of mastery and a growing sense of competence, on the other hand, difficulty in mastering this conflict leads to them feeling inadequate and like a failure. Therefore the child may withdraw himself from academic pursuits, show less interest and motivation to excel.


Being there for them is what matters in this stage

This is the age where children tend to grow distant from their parents because they’re “ashamed” of them. The conflict they need to resolve in this age is that of their identity. Adolescents, commonly known as teenagers, feel very lost because of the two very contradictory statements they hear, the first one being, “You are old enough now, stop throwing such silly tantrums, you aren’t a baby anymore.” And the other one being, “You aren’t that old to go out all night with your friends.” The dualism annoys them the most and hence the irritation and snapping all the time. Now how do we help them? How do we make the, see our perspective? And more importantly, how does their personality develop during this stage? Well, this stage is the most crucial stage because all their experiences now make them more mature and aware.

How to help my child develop a good personality at Adolescence stage?

Erikson believed that in this stage teenager who successfully establishes his identity understand their unique self and the roles they would assume in the future. They build their identity by understanding their personal, occupational, sexual and political commitments.

And those who don’t, either they adopt socially unaccepted means, that is, rebellion. Or they diffuse their identity with what is the most “acceptable”. This of course can be helped over time. One thing to keep in mind is that teenagers want you to understand them, not judge them. Being there for them is what matters in this stage.

Advantages of having a sound personality.

Positivity in one’s personality can eventually lead to positivity poured in his entire life

Positivity poured in life.

A good personality can help a person to transform into a very well organised and positive person. Positivity in one’s personality can eventually lead to positivity poured in his entire life and surroundings.

Betterment in career.

With an amazing personality a person can touch immense heights in his career. Good personalities often attract success and greatness in career. These days complexities in careers and their relative demands are increasing a lot and hence your different personality can help you win.

It makes you an interesting person.

Your personality tells people a lot about you. When you have a different and positive personality then it makes you shine more in comparison to others. Hence, people will get attracted to you and they will find you an interesting person. All this will be the result of your hardwork that you have put into your personality in all these years.

It changes our outlook about ourselves.

Your changed personality not only makes other see you with a different approach but it also makes you think about yourself in a better way. A good personality will enable you to think about yourself in a very healthy way.

Tips to help your child develop his overall personality.

Tips to help your child develop his overall personality

A parent has many roles to play under the umbrella of parenthood only. Sometimes a friend, sometimes a guide and sometimes a teacher. All these roles are to fulfilled with very high level of preciseness and care so that no stone is left unturned in the perfect raising of a child.

Tips to help your child develop his overall personality

Parenting can be a really tough task sometimes. Though it is very clear that parenting is not any cakewalk but many are unaware that sometimes it becomes very tough than it seems. One such part of parenting is helping your child shape a perfect personality. Your child’s personality stays with him forever. Hence, it becomes very important that the parent is very cautious how the child’s personality development is actually going on.

Below are few tips for you as a parent to take care of your child’s personality development in a complete manner.

1-Recognize the Original traits.

Firstly, stop and recognize what is the original personality and traits of your child before you try to change any. Now when you know what are the positives and what are the negatives in your child’s personality then lovingly weed out the bad traits and encourage the good traits. Also, imbibe more good habits that you find best for your child.

2-Strictly Do Not Label.

Now I understand that you would like to teach your kid about how someone has a good personality and posseses good traits but it should be avoided at best. Labelling your kids and comparing them with other children is going to leave a negative impression in their mind in the long run after they grow up. This exercise of comparison can harm your child’s mental health and can hinder your child’s personality development to very great extents.

3-Inculcate the right morals and values.

You need to be very aware and attentive as a parent. Always give your child the best teachings. Inculcate positive moral value in your child. Teach him how to behave in the society. Make him learn the basic manners of life. Always emember a parent is the first teacher a child ever gets. So be a very good one.

4-Screen Time strictly limited.

Spending very long durations of time with the screens is a proven disadvantage for your child. It is not good for their mind, their eyes also their overall skill and cognitive development. Their personality is affected too if these factors are mismanaged. Hence, you should be careful as a parent that your child is not spending very much time with screen. Only little bit of entertainment is enough considering the age of your child and associated demerits of long screen time.

5- Keep a close watch on Internet Surfing.

These days, young children spend a lot of their time on surfing the net. The internet is very wide area with many good and many bad things as well. These young minds can have ever lasting impacts from those things on the net. As a parent, you need to pay special attention that what your kid is surfing on the net. So that you can guide him if he is anywhere misguided.

6-Balance Independence with Boundaries.

You know the growing age of kids demands enough independence with it. But you cannot give them absolute independence. Rather than that, you can make sure one thing that your child is getting as much independence as is required and also at the same time you balance that independence with right amount of boundaries.

7-Prepare them for future challenges.

You as a parent have to prepare your child for all future responsibilities and uncertainties. No one actually can tell what is there in the coming time. Hence, your child and your child’s personality development process should be ready in advance to face all the troubles and challenges effectively and on his own. For all this your attentiveness is required beforehand.

8-Punish them positively.

There are many instances when we see that our children are doing some wrong practices and their way of behaving is not correct. At such times , it becomes very important for us to guide them and make sure that they do not follow such activities again. Otherwise, these acts can become their habits and a part of your child’s personality without even knowing.

Now there are chances that your child does not agrees to you at just once or he refuses to obey. At such conditions you can firmly and with a positive attitude opt to punish them for the mistake. Punishments are there to make your a child a disciplined one. However, it must be noted that punishments should not become a part of the daily routine because that may lead to your child becoming an ignorant one and can also affect their mental health.

Five personality traits that every successfull person possesses.

Personality traits that every successfull person possesses

Given below, we have listed the most popular five personality traits that every person who has succeeded in his life has always followed in his routine life. Let us read them one by one and also try to inculcate them in our practice so as to get the best traits developed in our behaviour.

Positivity can change the way an ordinary person’s life functions

Positive attitude.

Every successful person ever that had a very strong and influencing personality had this one trait embedded in himself. Positivity can change the way an ordinary person’s life functions. Changing one’s attitude can actually change his life and his social relationships. Looking at problems with a positive mindset is surely not going to make the problem disappear but yes it will make you solve the problem with a better approach.


Self-control is a very vital personality trait to develop but once developed, it is going to stay with the individual forever. Difficult conditions and situations often make us loose our cool and then every decision we take is going to eventually harm us. Only a very informed and an intelligent decision can save us at that time. And such a decision can be taken only if the individual practices self-control.

Strong decision-making skills.

When a young child grows into an adult and becomes an individual, then he has to start taking decisions for his life. All his life is influenced by the quality of decisions that he takes. Hence, it is of utmost importance that every individual tries to develop very strong decision-making skills in himself. This skill is not something which an individual gains all of a sudden but this skill is imparted from the very beginning in the childhood itself.

A passion to excel.

Every person who has an amazing and attractive personality has a tendency to try to excel in every aspect of life. Such people have a passion in their heads for just doing their best in their lives and making the best of it. You can pick up any name from the list of people who have had an amazing personality ever and connect the dots of their habit of extreme level of excellence in their lives.

Also read 5 Easy and Fun Activities for Kids to Develop their Personality

Policy of being greatful.

People who own a mindblowing personality always have this great habit of being greatfull for whatever they have in their lives. These people show great thankfulness towards the achievements of their lives and are always inclined towards achieving even better in the coming future. Staying thankful for whatever you have and respecting it and also working hard for whatever you want more in life is the actual principle to stay happy and contended.


To sum it up, we have to be patient, understanding and non-judgemental. These three will help you develop a good bond with your children and keep your child’s personality development on track. Keep one thing in mind, their brain is still developing, so they will take harsh decisions, don’t be too hard on them but also don’t be too lenient. I will leave you with a thought shared by a very famous psychologist, he said to give him a child and he shall either make him a lawyer or a lair.

Frequently Asked Questions

Below are few very frequently asked question about personality development in general and personality development in kids in particular. Let us read them one by one.

1-What is that age when a child develops his personality identity?

Well, not exactly can anything be stated but according to an estimate, by the time any child is around some eight-years-old, the child will have start getting a stable idea of his own personality traits and will be start developing a identity of his own.

2-What are the most common factors that affect a child’s personality development?

Basically, there are not just few but many factors that are eventually affecting personality development of a kid. They can be family environment, mental health, social relationships, number of children in the family, atmosphere of school, teachers and peer groups, relationships with siblings, social media and cultural environment.

3-What are the Big five personality characteristics?

Notably, the five broad personality traits described by the theory are as follows: first one is extraversion (extroversion), second one is agreeableness, third one is openness, fourth one is conscientiousness, and last and the fufth one is neuroticism.

4-What are the most common four types of personality styles?

There are many types of personalities in this world. Many of them are not identified yet but still there are most common four types of personality styles. First one is Driversecond one is Expressive, third one is Amiable, and lastly the fourth one is Analytical.

5-What is exactly Personality development in a child?

Personality development is the development of the organized pattern of behaviors and attitudes that makes a person distinctive. Every child has a different personality and his surroundings further shape the existing personality of his own.

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